The Dress by Rebecca

The dress

It is my friend’s birthday soon and I have ordered her a nice new dress. It is going to be green. She really likes green. I am really excited for the dress to arrive because I will be able to check is it the right colour. She will be turning eleven and I am going to make her a home-made birthday card.

 

It is time for me to open the parcel because my friends dress has arrived. I have opened it and it is the wrong colour! It is purple and she hates purple. I was so cross that it was the wrong colour. THE END BY REBECCA

One thought on “The Dress by Rebecca

  1. Hello Rebecca, well done! You have written this piece in the present tense. I think this is the hardest tense to write in. I like how you made this writing seem very personal by telling the reader about your friend and what she likes, and that you were going to make a card for her. I think your exclamation mark works well “…it is the wrong colour!” as you had been building up the tension until then. Keep writing.

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