Bull, Horse and Goat by Clodagh

Bull, horse and goat

 

The house shook, Jane ran into her Mam and Dad’s room. “It’s only a tiny earth quake,” they assured her. Her shed was destroyed.

 

A big crane came and took the shed away. When it had been taken away, Jane saw a sheet of paper. She looked at it.  It was a treasure chest!

 

She called her friends James, Mary and Brian. Together they were “The What What Club!”

 

The map led them to three statues, one of a horse, bull and goat.

 

They told “The What What Club” to look under the goat.

 

They found a treasure chest. They were rich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 thoughts on “Bull, Horse and Goat by Clodagh

  1. Maith thú a Clodagh!
    I really enjoyed your piece because it made me think of the The Famous Five, have you read them? I love the friendship and teamwork that goes with being in a club. I also love a mystery, the thought of solving a mystery is brilliant. How exciting that they found money. I wonder what they will do with it?
    Lean ort!
    Ciara (Team 100)
    Wicklow

  2. Hi Clodagh,

    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is an image of three mysterious animal headed figures. Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, which turns into an adventure. By setting out the plot early in the piece, how the earthquake destroys a shed, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of treasure hunts is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people have experienced going on such hunts at some point in their life. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also enjoyed spending time racking my brain over treasure hunts, and creating maps to entertain for hours. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, such as how the house ‘shook’, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how the group called themselves ‘The What What Club’, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece continues to develop, as the character first sees the statues. With all the questions circling around why the statues are there and what they are, the fact that they start to speak and advice the group turns the piece on its head, suddenly mystical. The suspense in what will happen next is really captivating, and the joy of finding the treasure was a perfect ending. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of question marks. Keep up the good work!

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